Be Your Own Best Valentine

"You lie upon my heart as on a nest, folded in peace" —Amy Lowell

I've been thinking about being good to myself, loving myself, being my own best valentine. What would that look like? I know the times when I have been the most uncomfortable, felt unhappy, discontent, I was not truly being good to me. Do you notice that? I get myself in a "bad" mood, and believe me I recognize it is my choice, and then it snowballs. I don't feel like fixing myself good food, but rather making poor food choices or overeating. I hang out alone feeling sorry for myself and pathetic. Is this sounding familiar at all?

Next day I wake up ready to start anew and I think - today will be different, I will be good to me. It really is about that, being good to me. In that moment when I am feeling less than, feeling blah, that is when I need to let my nurturing side take over and take care of me. That is when I can take a little extra effort to do something nice for me which doesn't mean having chips and bean dip for dinner, but being gentle and kind, asking myself what would make me feel just a little bit better right now.

This month with Valentine's day coming up, I'm focusing on being good to me. I'd like to invite you to be good to you as well. Do what feels good. Do what you love. Is there something you have been putting off that you'd like to get handled so you can live a happy life? I'd like to invite you to experience the power of coaching. I'm looking for a few good coachees right now -- folks really ready to take the plunge and be coached, ready to take control of their lives and have more joy, more happiness, more of all that they love. I'd love to support you in that journey. By supporting you I support being good to me. Start by loving you and watch the love and happiness flow.

Finding Meaning in Christmas

"All grown-ups were once children. (But few of them remember it.)"
— Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Have you allowed yourself to be a kid, or even remember what it feels like? Why do children love Christmas so much? It's the magic, the wonder, the surprises, the happy relatives who show up, not just the gifts.

I was just remembering what my children loved about Christmas. Yes, they got excited about what they wanted and what they hoped Santa would bring. But they also were excited about the family who would all gather at our home, the mashed potatoes and gravy, the way my son would play guitar with his uncles and my daughter would get to reconnect with all her cousins.

I watched an old home video on Thanksgiving of my daughter at age "6 and 3/4" on Christmas. I'm videotaping her and asking her questions. When I asked if she had anything else she wanted to say, she said "yes, I'm really wondering how Santa comes down our chimney, and how he gets all the gifts to all the kids on Christmas eve. He must be pretty special." It was such a treat for me to watch her, hear her voice and see that wonderment on her face. That is the childlike quality I'm talking about -- having that curiosity about life, marveling at it and accepting the gift that it is in all it's glory.

I'd like to invite you to look at life this month through the eyes of your inner child. Allow yourself to experience the joys of this season through the lens of that childlike wonder and acceptance of all the good and joy that is there for you. I believe we have much to learn from listening to that child that still dwells within us and he or she needs to come out and play from time to time.

What is your inner child wanting or needing right now? What small act would feel good? Building a snowman? Baking cookies? Creating something by drawing or writing just for fun? No "shoulds" here, only what feels good. Try it, and let me know what comes up for you.

Can it be almost October?

I was shocked when I went to my blog this morning and realized June was my last post! Yikes. Where did the time go? Obviously I have been busy, distracted, thinking of other things and I was amazed that 3 mos have gone by.

As they say, time flies whether you are paying attention or not. Or is it time flies whether you're having fun or not? I think either one would work. I don't really want time to fly though. I want to be mindful and savor every minute. On the post 50 side of life, every moment becomes so precious.

How can I remind myself of this? How can I live this principal? One way is by practicing mindfulness in all my activities. I've been taking the time in the morning and before bed to type up my script for the day (morning) and my gratitude for the day (night). This has helped me to stay focused, knowing what I want for my day and then acknowledging all the wonderful things that occured at day's end. This technique has kept me focused and mindful and more joyous. When I would just wake up and not consciously focus on what I would do that day, my day evolved without me as creator. I could potentially become more victim than hero of my day's events.

I highly recommend beginning your day with some planning -- not so much of what you are going to do, but how you are going to feel all day. Think about what you have ahead of you, whether it's chores, work, or play and imagine yourself doing the things you will do feeling good. This ensures a happy outlook at the beginning of the day which typically brings about a happy day.

In the meantime, enjoy fall. It's creeping by. Enjoy each flavorful day for whatever it brings you.