"Everyone is a house with four rooms: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person."-- Rumer Godden

A favorite author of mine, Rumer Godden puts so eloquently something I believe in wholeheartedly, and not only work on with my clients, but practice myself. We've all heard the importance of life balance. Workshops and articles, books and Oprah shows abound on how to keep in balance. We all have seen the impact of a life unbalanced. We get cranky, resentful, tired and start making mistakes, dropping things and feel forgetful.

I have a large pie chart drawn on an oversized post-it note attached to my office door. I've divided the pie slices into what matters for me: mind, body, spirit, work, family, relationship, friends - basically the equivalent rooms of which Rumer speaks. I use this chart when I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed and unable to stay focused or get anything accomplished. I can come up with specific tasks I wish to accomplish in the separate areas and post them on tiny post-it notes in the appropriate section of the pie. This way I'm clear what I need to do and what needs to be done as well as clear on my progress and how out of balance I might be.

What are the signs you are tipping the scales out of balance? What have you found that works to keep you feeling in balance? Have you aired out all the rooms today?

Being Aware and Mindful

I love hiking and being outdoors. While I really love beautiful places I've never seen, and trails to hike that remind me of being a kid and exploring, I am also happy just walking outside in my neighborhood. There is something about taking the time to be outside and observe what is there, that takes me off the hamster wheel of doing doing doing. Instead of noticing my email alert telling me I have a new email, I can notice flocks of birds flying in formation, notice the songs they sing, notice the wild turkeys that show up where I live. In giving myself the time to notice these little things outside myself, I can also notice what happens inside myself - the thoughts and the 'monkey mind' disappear and my planning mind has an opportunity to take over.

I think walking, just the forward movement allows my planning mind to help me move forward too. I sort through things and come up with the most amazing and creative ideas!

Yesterday as I was out walking while the wind was blowing fiercely, I was thinking of the metaphor of life that presented to me -- circumstances can make me feel like I'm being pushed against and I might need to struggle a bit to push back, but I won't get pushed over, I will keep walking and I can stand strong inside my own strength.

Just some things to ponder. This weekend if you feel stuck in a problem, frustrated or just bored, take a walk outside and see what you notice. See what messages nature might provide for you.

Can it be almost October?

I was shocked when I went to my blog this morning and realized June was my last post! Yikes. Where did the time go? Obviously I have been busy, distracted, thinking of other things and I was amazed that 3 mos have gone by.

As they say, time flies whether you are paying attention or not. Or is it time flies whether you're having fun or not? I think either one would work. I don't really want time to fly though. I want to be mindful and savor every minute. On the post 50 side of life, every moment becomes so precious.

How can I remind myself of this? How can I live this principal? One way is by practicing mindfulness in all my activities. I've been taking the time in the morning and before bed to type up my script for the day (morning) and my gratitude for the day (night). This has helped me to stay focused, knowing what I want for my day and then acknowledging all the wonderful things that occured at day's end. This technique has kept me focused and mindful and more joyous. When I would just wake up and not consciously focus on what I would do that day, my day evolved without me as creator. I could potentially become more victim than hero of my day's events.

I highly recommend beginning your day with some planning -- not so much of what you are going to do, but how you are going to feel all day. Think about what you have ahead of you, whether it's chores, work, or play and imagine yourself doing the things you will do feeling good. This ensures a happy outlook at the beginning of the day which typically brings about a happy day.

In the meantime, enjoy fall. It's creeping by. Enjoy each flavorful day for whatever it brings you.

Developing Focus and Structure

Do you suffer as I do from that feeling of wasting a day or a specific block of time? I find myself with a free day ahead of me and my planning mind immediately decides all the things I'm going to do. Unfortunately, my basic nature of wanting to do everything means I can potentially spend the day flitting from this thing to that thing and never feel I accomplished much of anything. This activity is much like my other activity of being online and bouncing from one website to another reading interesting information, but wasting gobs of time. Today I am on a path of being Mindful, and I'm saying that with a capital letter!


I am sharing with you here my steps I followed to remain focused on my goals>

1. Decide you are going to spend a day or an afternoon mindfully selecting your activities. I made this decision this morning when I realized how many "free" days (meaning no appointments) I squander on the Internet and essentially being distracted. I decided I needed to really listen within, and not react to every 'bright shiny object'.

2. Sit someplace quiet, close your eyes and placing your hand on your heart ask -- what do I really really want to do next? I actually did this after making my list of things I wanted and needed to do today. I mindfully asked myself this question and listened to what came up. I had "clean off desk top" "do yoga" "be creative and write in your blog". I felt I was at choice and in charge of my day rather than at it's mercy.

3. Once you have written the items down, decide how long you will do each one. I used a timer because it really helps me stay focused to hear that tick, tick tick! Giving myself 15 minutes to clean off my desk meant I was decisive and deliberate and not likely to get side-tracked checking email. Instead of an endless amount of time, I had a deadline. I guess I work well with a deadline!

4. Be good to yourself and allow for spontaneity. In my initial listing of items, I included "fun" and "free time". After I had finished a few tasks, a friend called to invite me to go see a movie. Well there was fun and free time all in one! Of course I went and had a great time.

5. Congratulate yourself on what you did accomplish. I checked off and crossed off each item which made me feel accomplished. At the end of the day of course there were more items, but they will carry over or they just were'nt that important. I know I was being truthful to my needs and I felt good about my day.


What I realized today is how easily I can be distracted! And I'm starting to appreciate how much of this behavior is my avoidance of things I feel afraid to do. Now I don't mean some huge scary fear, but that deep-seated fear that I'm not really good enough; I'm not worthy of the good that could come to me by doing these things. What if I had to really burst through my barriers and just get out there and SHINE!! How would that be? A little scary? Yes, I think sometimes it is to me. So I don't get started when I really want to, or I water the plants, have a snack, email a friend. OK things to do, but I'm allowing myself distraction rather than the joy that comes from completion by way of focus and awareness.

Overall, I felt on task. Then when life happened I was also able to go with the flow. Mmmm...my mantra right now, to be in the flow.

Balance and Mindfulness

I have been making an effort to be mindful in my life, waking up as Eckhart Tolle says to The Power of Now. Being present as much as possible to what is happening with me, right now, helps me be more in touch with how I feel, teaches me who I am, gives me tools for knowing what steps to take next, because I am paying attention to the details.

I was discussing this with my sweetie this morning after listening to Tolle's newest book A New Earth. Is being mindful and present something one strives to do 24/7? If so, how does one manage all the pieces of life? If I am focused right now on this, then what happens to all the other pieces of my life? I believe that since we are multi-faceted Beings, then we are capable of being present to the totality of our lives, being present to what is in the broader perspective and so can manage them all on a rotating basis.

After this discussion I took my morning walk. I noticed things I hadn't noticed before, even though I've walked this path many many times. Some were things that were always there, a stone paved walk in someone's yard, the shape and form of a tree in another. Some were new and specific to this walk such as the wild turkeys who often show up on the golf course. At one point I glimpsed them in a backyard and said hello to them. On my way back they were walking the street in front of me, four of them gobbling along. They made me laugh. Was I totally mindful and present in every moment of my 50 minute walk? No, at times I was thinking of something I was going to do when I got home, at times I was noticing the sidewalk in front of me.

I believe as in many things, and as I have blogged about before, it is about balance. If I am mindful for the most part in things I do, say and think, I will be able to be the mindful observer of my life, ever seeing and feeling where to make adjustments, ever aware of my feelings, and ever alive and tuned in to what is happening in my life. Contrarily, going about my tasks on auto pilot, full of things to be done with no awareness of what is happening around me or in me, I have lost my sense of self.

Here are some thoughts for becoming more aware and mindful in your daily life.

1. Find a practice to do every day that gets you into a mindful state. You can take a walk and focus on being mindful of your thoughts, mindful of what you see, mindful of what you hear, or doing yoga or some other practice.

2. Practice doing an ordinary activity you do every day in a mindful way, such as eating. Ask yourself what you are wanting to eat and fix yourself that meal with love. Get creative with it and don't stop until you hit "yummy"! This morning I mixed chopped apples with granola, cinnamon and brown sugar and warmed it up. Focus on eating each bite with mindfulness of what you taste, what you feel. I tasted the warm, sweet cinnamony apples, with some crunch from the granola. I felt warmed, nourished and realized how much I like eating different tastes and textures together.

3. Be mindful and present when communicating with people, whether on the phone or in person. It's so easy to get distracted and it's normal. If you notice that you are, pull yourself back to the conversation. It's interesting to notice how much more I get from conversations when I'm focusing in that manner and I think my loved ones feel more heard.

4. Use this tool when you feel overwhelmed: take a moment to sit quietly, breathe gently and be present. I have started making a list in the morning of my To Do items. Just writing it down takes it out of the buzzy place in my brain and puts it in the do-able place on my list. Then I challenge myself to accomplish 3. (Don't put down something like clean out the garage, but do-able- in -the- day tasks). I reward myself after doing them by taking time out to talk with my sweetie, read or some other fun! (very important!) activity.

5. Remember there is no right way or wrong way to do this (or anything else as far as I'm concerned!) Practicing an awareness of the concept is a great place to start and none of us will ever be perfect at it. It's a journey, and it's supposed to be fun.