One Step Forward Two Steps Back

As I look out my office window today, the weather, and my own current state of mind remind me of the hopeful then frustrated feelings we can have when experiencing the good, followed by "not what I wanted". We were blessed here in California with sunny spring-like weather last week. Ah it was so lovely as folks put their white feet in flip flops, played in the park, rode bikes and felt warm and free. Over the weekend the rain and cold weather returned, leaving my hands and feet perpetually frozen like blocks of ice, wishing they could melt in the warmth of the sun.

This morning there was frost on the housetops. Again, my feet are cold so I had my space heater on, directed to my popcycle toes. There is a wind blowing the trees outside my window so I know it's fairly chilly. Already I miss the spring of last week.

This feels like my life right now. I work so hard on my business, doing everything I can to market my message, get myself known, offer my services, make connections, feel like I'm doing the very best I can in coaching people, offering my strengths in a way that is meaningful to my clients. But then life can get in the way -- struggles with health insurance when one is self-employed, struggles with feeling that all my work is actually going to pay off, struggles of getting everything done, staying on task, remaining positive in the face of negativity. Back two steps I go. Where is my belief in my self? Where is my faith? So easy to be knocked off that horse, so much work to get back on.

Today in my vulnerable spot I am telling you that the trees know that spring will come. They trust that despite the fact that it is windy and cold today, they are blossoming, here in the now, confident and strong knowing that the cycles of the seasons will happen. Things change; sometimes for the better, sometimes not. It's the faith of the mustard seed folks and we all must have it or what else have we?

Getting Back in the Flow in Times of Challenge

I have a mantra I like to remember when times feel hard for me - and it's to remember to let go and flow, flow like the river. I visualize this at the same time, me in my little boat on the water, and instead of being stuck on the rocks, or trying so hard and struggling to paddle paddle paddle ever harder up stream, I release, let go and allow myself to flow. It's funny because I can literally feel it in my body when I let go and say oh yeah, I'm working too hard, flow. The trick is to remember to do that and not get stuck in the struggling part.

As a business owner, it has been challenging not to get stuck in the "money manic" that has been generated since last fall. I don't want that to be my reality. I want my reality to be that life flows gently and easily for me, money flows gently and easily for me, my health flows gently and easily, ...But I can get caught up in the fear that is out there and worry, which is what I noticed I was doing, which made me work harder and harder and get more stressed and worried and question myself and just not feel good. So today I will be in reminder mode for myself - let go and flow whenever I feel the tightening and clenching start to take over my body.

If you would like to learn more about yourself, and how to let go in turbulent times, consider signing up for my FREE telecall to be held January 19th. I'll be talking about using creativity to tap into a better understanding of ourselves as well as a way to release blocks you may have which are limiting you. Contact me for all the details. coach_cindie@myself.com and may you be in the flow.

Gratitude When it's a struggle

Ever have one of those days when it feels hard to feel grateful? When you feel like you really need to feel grateful for what you have because you are stuck in that place of not feeling happy? I was in one of those places this morning, feeling like things were not the way I wanted them to be, not feeling happy about it and questioning the stability of my relationship.

I struggle with finding enough time for my sweetie. It feels like our lives get busy, we have hectic schedules and we have little that we do together that we both enjoy that makes us feel connected. Consequently, I really relish the times we can spend together with a common goal and objective. Something we were supposed to do together today turned out to be a solo event for me and I wasn't happy about it. There was a bump in the road where I was feeling in need of that connection time and he wasn't providing it, which made me feel disappointed, angry and sad. I went to that place of "this isn't working, this is bad".

Good thing I did almost immediately know that what I needed to do was go to my place of gratitude. I started thinking about how I was happy to be going to this function, with or without him, and that I knew I was going to have a good time. I got myself into the place of looking forward to the people I would be with and how it would be and knew it would be fun. I was grateful for what we do have together and yes, I could within a fairly short period of time let go of the sadness and disappointment I had been feeling about our relationship.

This is not always that easy to do and sometimes I rest in my place of unrest, unhappy and discontented for awhile before remembering that I really want to be happy and live happy. I thought this was the universe's way of giving me a great reminder, to appreciate what is working and is good in my life.

Glass half full.