Sunday, November 23, 2008

Gratitude When it's a struggle

Ever have one of those days when it feels hard to feel grateful? When you feel like you really need to feel grateful for what you have because you are stuck in that place of not feeling happy? I was in one of those places this morning, feeling like things were not the way I wanted them to be, not feeling happy about it and questioning the stability of my relationship.

I struggle with finding enough time for my sweetie. It feels like our lives get busy, we have hectic schedules and we have little that we do together that we both enjoy that makes us feel connected. Consequently, I really relish the times we can spend together with a common goal and objective. Something we were supposed to do together today turned out to be a solo event for me and I wasn't happy about it. There was a bump in the road where I was feeling in need of that connection time and he wasn't providing it, which made me feel disappointed, angry and sad. I went to that place of "this isn't working, this is bad".

Good thing I did almost immediately know that what I needed to do was go to my place of gratitude. I started thinking about how I was happy to be going to this function, with or without him, and that I knew I was going to have a good time. I got myself into the place of looking forward to the people I would be with and how it would be and knew it would be fun. I was grateful for what we do have together and yes, I could within a fairly short period of time let go of the sadness and disappointment I had been feeling about our relationship.

This is not always that easy to do and sometimes I rest in my place of unrest, unhappy and discontented for awhile before remembering that I really want to be happy and live happy. I thought this was the universe's way of giving me a great reminder, to appreciate what is working and is good in my life.

Glass half full.

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