Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Midlife and miserable?

I hate to say that, but many of us, myself included, reach "midlife", wherever that is, and wonder if this is really the life we wanted to choose. The conveyor belt of life is moving on and here we sit, settling for the life we are "supposed" to have. We can feel stuck and miserable. What to do?

It's hard to know what to do if you don't really know what you want. And it's hard to know what you want if you don't know who you are. You see we have to peel through many layers to find what is really true for us. To use a seasonal analogy, it's hard to see the path ahead when it is covered by seasons of leaves. Getting down to the basics is first.

There are many ways of discovering more about yourself so that you might begin to know who you are and what you want. During this time please don't beat yourself up about what you "should" do. This is a time to re-discover yourself and that takes time and patience. First and foremost is acknowledging the feelings as you go.

Because November is the month I have declared for my business to be Gratitude month, I'm going to suggest this practice as step one of discovering more fully who you are and what you want. If you have not had a practice of gratitude, begin by setting aside a time each day when you can focus on your gratitudes. This can be either first thing in the morning or the last thing at night. I like to do mine at the end of the day. I keep my gratitude journal next to the bed so I can recount all the things I am glad for at the end of the day.

It's good to aim for at least 5 as a goal, while you can certainly keep going if you feel inclined. What I notice about mine, is I can go back through all the months of the year and see the patterns of things I was grateful for as well as track my growth through the year. It is a wonderful self-growth tool not to mention the positive benefits to your outlook on life.

There is always something to feel grateful for (think of Pollyanna and the Glad Game) and it's powerful to focus on that which is good especially when so much of what we hear these days is aimed at what is wrong and bad.

My gratitudes for today:

1. Money in my bank account.

2. Meaningful work that I love

3. Time today for creativity and art -- working on my 'values collages'

4. Lunch with my sister and daughter. I asked them to each share their "Good News of the Day" - more gratitude in action!

5. Some lovely vegetables in my refrigerator which means I'm going to go cook a yummy dinner. I'm thinking some roasted beets and carrots. ;)

What are you grateful for today?

Coach Cindie


Paco Bailac said...

¿Son tus prioridades elñ dinero en el banco? saludos

Coach Cindie Wilding said...

Hi Paco, Thanks for reading my blog. I would not say that my priority is money in the bank. Currently here in the states, there is much fear around the economy. I hear this from my clients, friends and family. As a solo business owner, building a coaching practice, that fear can seep into my consciousness as well, UNLESS, I remember my gratitude. That was my point of putting that in my list. My finances are in order, my bills are paid and I am grateful for that. I am not drawn into the fear around money. But certainly that is not my day-to-day #1 priority.