I love hiking and being outdoors. While I really love beautiful places I've never seen, and trails to hike that remind me of being a kid and exploring, I am also happy just walking outside in my neighborhood. There is something about taking the time to be outside and observe what is there, that takes me off the hamster wheel of doing doing doing. Instead of noticing my email alert telling me I have a new email, I can notice flocks of birds flying in formation, notice the songs they sing, notice the wild turkeys that show up where I live. In giving myself the time to notice these little things outside myself, I can also notice what happens inside myself - the thoughts and the 'monkey mind' disappear and my planning mind has an opportunity to take over.
I think walking, just the forward movement allows my planning mind to help me move forward too. I sort through things and come up with the most amazing and creative ideas!
Yesterday as I was out walking while the wind was blowing fiercely, I was thinking of the metaphor of life that presented to me -- circumstances can make me feel like I'm being pushed against and I might need to struggle a bit to push back, but I won't get pushed over, I will keep walking and I can stand strong inside my own strength.
Just some things to ponder. This weekend if you feel stuck in a problem, frustrated or just bored, take a walk outside and see what you notice. See what messages nature might provide for you.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Dealing with Stress in Turbulent Times
I'm pretty sure no matter who you are, what your business/job might be, or what your "portfolio" looks like, it's hard not to get a bit stressed with what is going on right now. That is all we hear on the news and all that the papers have to offer. I don't get the paper anymore, but on my walk this morning, walking past one on a driveway I saw the headline, something about "country seized with fear". Oh my gosh I thought, is that ever a way to create your reality NOT based on what I want my reality to be. The reality is, the more we focus on what is wrong, the more that is what we notice, and the more we are plugged into the ugly feelings and the more that is what we get. You Law of Attraction student got that right?
I know we need to take care of ourselves financially and be prudent and smart. But the more this fear grips us as a nation, the more that is what we will have and live in -- FEAR
So here are my tips for dealing with this hard to avoid stuff.
1. Take care of yourself. That should always be number 1 on your list. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself economically, whatever that may be. Consult someone who you trust on issues related to your financial picture if it will make you feel better. Do what you need to do. Then LET IT GO.
2. Limit the exposure you have to the news - papers, news on TV and discussions with people in your life. I like to listen to NPR while driving. It gives me the highlights, as well as some good in depth news, but there is variety, and it's not all what's wrong or bad. I don't generally watch the news on TV -- the debates lately, but that's it. I don't need the constant droning in my brain about all that is bad. Inform yourself, and then focus your attention elsewhere.
3. With regard to limiting discussions with people in your life, just notice when people are going on with the "isn't it awful?" dialog. It is easy to get caught up in this dialog and not good for you. Notice how you start to become angry or worried and tense up as the conversation escalates. When you notice this and your response to it, change the subject to something more pleasant or walk away. This behavior doesn't mean we are avoiding reality. It means we are choosing to focus on what is working while handling what isn't quiety.
4. Find time for fun. Getting worried about money or other concerns robs us of our ability to be our natural fun and playful selves . We need time for fun, alone or with others. Do something that makes you feel good everyday. Read a funny book. Watch a funny movie. Laugh with friends. Dance. Watch kittens, puppies or little children playing. They haven't forgotten how to have fun.
5. Breathe. Take time to be still. If we are always going and moving and doing, we don't have time to relax and find our center, that place where we can connect with our authentic self and remember who we are. A few minutes of stillness everyday does wonders.
I know we need to take care of ourselves financially and be prudent and smart. But the more this fear grips us as a nation, the more that is what we will have and live in -- FEAR
So here are my tips for dealing with this hard to avoid stuff.
1. Take care of yourself. That should always be number 1 on your list. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself economically, whatever that may be. Consult someone who you trust on issues related to your financial picture if it will make you feel better. Do what you need to do. Then LET IT GO.
2. Limit the exposure you have to the news - papers, news on TV and discussions with people in your life. I like to listen to NPR while driving. It gives me the highlights, as well as some good in depth news, but there is variety, and it's not all what's wrong or bad. I don't generally watch the news on TV -- the debates lately, but that's it. I don't need the constant droning in my brain about all that is bad. Inform yourself, and then focus your attention elsewhere.
3. With regard to limiting discussions with people in your life, just notice when people are going on with the "isn't it awful?" dialog. It is easy to get caught up in this dialog and not good for you. Notice how you start to become angry or worried and tense up as the conversation escalates. When you notice this and your response to it, change the subject to something more pleasant or walk away. This behavior doesn't mean we are avoiding reality. It means we are choosing to focus on what is working while handling what isn't quiety.
4. Find time for fun. Getting worried about money or other concerns robs us of our ability to be our natural fun and playful selves . We need time for fun, alone or with others. Do something that makes you feel good everyday. Read a funny book. Watch a funny movie. Laugh with friends. Dance. Watch kittens, puppies or little children playing. They haven't forgotten how to have fun.
5. Breathe. Take time to be still. If we are always going and moving and doing, we don't have time to relax and find our center, that place where we can connect with our authentic self and remember who we are. A few minutes of stillness everyday does wonders.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Transitioning through life's stuck places
It's October and here in California it's barely starting to feel like fall. The leaves are turning colors that make me say ahhh...In the park behind our house so many leaves have fallen off the trees that I find myself wanting to go back there and run through the leaves, pick them up and throw them in the air, stomp on them and hear them crunch, roll in them. Sound fun? It does to me, but I was kind of hoping for a small child or at least equally child-like adult to do it with me so that children playing back there don't feel afraid of what that white haired lady is up to.
I love fall, and really, when I think of it, I always feel ready to welcome the new season. I look forward to the joys that each season offers and feel ready for it when it comes. Why can't I be quite that way when it comes to changes in my life? I know that fall must occur to make room for winter, which while it is cold and wet and not my favorite season, there is also a wonderful depth to it, the darkness of winter that allows us to go within, to be more still and to nurture ourselves and others. While I may miss the warmth of summer, I don't think, "gee is fall really the right choice? Shouldn't we go back to summer when things were warm and sunny?"
There is a holding onto that occurs with life changes. We look back, and say - should I have done that? Was that really the right/best choice? I want to be able to welcome the seasons of my life in the same way I welcome nature's seasons, to look at my changes and transitions and say, yes, I am ready and welcoming of this new phase of my life, bring it on. To let go completely of the old and embrace the new with open arms feels empowering, yet I know it is hard.
I have written here before about my challenges with letting go of my "children". Heck they are 23 and 26, hardly children but letting go of them has meant some suffering on my part. I think what it has taken for me is redefinning my relationships with them and experiencing them blossoming into something so much richer and wonderful. I know much of my looking back with sadness was the regret -- how I might have spent more time with them, worked less, been more patient, etc etc. I have learned to forgive myself; my children did. In fact, hearing them talk about their childhoods, they have happy memories, and feel they were parented well. What more could a parent want?
Now I can embrace what is now, no looking back but only looking forward in these ever evolving relationships I have with them. What seemed impossible only a few years ago is now reality. They have created their own lives as happy and independent adults. Watching them move through their lives with such integrity and maturity is so amazing and I will take that wonderful new season for them. Yes the summer of their lives was fun and cute, but this new season they are in -- is so awesome, and I am so proud of them. I can look forward to metaphorically playing in those leaves with them as they mature and share their experiences with me in a whole new way. I'm ready
I love fall, and really, when I think of it, I always feel ready to welcome the new season. I look forward to the joys that each season offers and feel ready for it when it comes. Why can't I be quite that way when it comes to changes in my life? I know that fall must occur to make room for winter, which while it is cold and wet and not my favorite season, there is also a wonderful depth to it, the darkness of winter that allows us to go within, to be more still and to nurture ourselves and others. While I may miss the warmth of summer, I don't think, "gee is fall really the right choice? Shouldn't we go back to summer when things were warm and sunny?"
There is a holding onto that occurs with life changes. We look back, and say - should I have done that? Was that really the right/best choice? I want to be able to welcome the seasons of my life in the same way I welcome nature's seasons, to look at my changes and transitions and say, yes, I am ready and welcoming of this new phase of my life, bring it on. To let go completely of the old and embrace the new with open arms feels empowering, yet I know it is hard.
I have written here before about my challenges with letting go of my "children". Heck they are 23 and 26, hardly children but letting go of them has meant some suffering on my part. I think what it has taken for me is redefinning my relationships with them and experiencing them blossoming into something so much richer and wonderful. I know much of my looking back with sadness was the regret -- how I might have spent more time with them, worked less, been more patient, etc etc. I have learned to forgive myself; my children did. In fact, hearing them talk about their childhoods, they have happy memories, and feel they were parented well. What more could a parent want?
Now I can embrace what is now, no looking back but only looking forward in these ever evolving relationships I have with them. What seemed impossible only a few years ago is now reality. They have created their own lives as happy and independent adults. Watching them move through their lives with such integrity and maturity is so amazing and I will take that wonderful new season for them. Yes the summer of their lives was fun and cute, but this new season they are in -- is so awesome, and I am so proud of them. I can look forward to metaphorically playing in those leaves with them as they mature and share their experiences with me in a whole new way. I'm ready
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Can it be almost October?
I was shocked when I went to my blog this morning and realized June was my last post! Yikes. Where did the time go? Obviously I have been busy, distracted, thinking of other things and I was amazed that 3 mos have gone by.
As they say, time flies whether you are paying attention or not. Or is it time flies whether you're having fun or not? I think either one would work. I don't really want time to fly though. I want to be mindful and savor every minute. On the post 50 side of life, every moment becomes so precious.
How can I remind myself of this? How can I live this principal? One way is by practicing mindfulness in all my activities. I've been taking the time in the morning and before bed to type up my script for the day (morning) and my gratitude for the day (night). This has helped me to stay focused, knowing what I want for my day and then acknowledging all the wonderful things that occured at day's end. This technique has kept me focused and mindful and more joyous. When I would just wake up and not consciously focus on what I would do that day, my day evolved without me as creator. I could potentially become more victim than hero of my day's events.
I highly recommend beginning your day with some planning -- not so much of what you are going to do, but how you are going to feel all day. Think about what you have ahead of you, whether it's chores, work, or play and imagine yourself doing the things you will do feeling good. This ensures a happy outlook at the beginning of the day which typically brings about a happy day.
In the meantime, enjoy fall. It's creeping by. Enjoy each flavorful day for whatever it brings you.
As they say, time flies whether you are paying attention or not. Or is it time flies whether you're having fun or not? I think either one would work. I don't really want time to fly though. I want to be mindful and savor every minute. On the post 50 side of life, every moment becomes so precious.
How can I remind myself of this? How can I live this principal? One way is by practicing mindfulness in all my activities. I've been taking the time in the morning and before bed to type up my script for the day (morning) and my gratitude for the day (night). This has helped me to stay focused, knowing what I want for my day and then acknowledging all the wonderful things that occured at day's end. This technique has kept me focused and mindful and more joyous. When I would just wake up and not consciously focus on what I would do that day, my day evolved without me as creator. I could potentially become more victim than hero of my day's events.
I highly recommend beginning your day with some planning -- not so much of what you are going to do, but how you are going to feel all day. Think about what you have ahead of you, whether it's chores, work, or play and imagine yourself doing the things you will do feeling good. This ensures a happy outlook at the beginning of the day which typically brings about a happy day.
In the meantime, enjoy fall. It's creeping by. Enjoy each flavorful day for whatever it brings you.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Finding Peace
I am seeking peace about a couple of issues in my life. I noticed that today, Sunday, I am feeling what I would call depressed about both of these issues and sad. I felt as if I wanted to cry. I'm not real clear on the reasons for my emotional angst, but I have felt it before on Sundays. Maybe I have too much and too many expectations for my life, for what I do with my time. On Sundays when the day stretches out endlessly before me, I can become overcome with the shortness of time, of the zipping by of my weekend, of how much I didn't do that I wanted to do. Unfortunately, if I have nothing planned for the day, it feels even worse. All I can see ahead of me are the things that need to be done, that I didn't do yet, those things I don't really want to do or I am reluctant to begin, or for heaven's sake I would have done them already.
Is this malaise? Lethargy? It certainly feels joy-less. I am doing what I can to center myself and see if I can change my mood. I will share with you what I have done, in case you ever find yourself in a similar position.
Yoga. Yup. Pretty basic but I cannot tell you how much better I feel after doing an hour. For one thing it gets me focused on something else, something outside my head, something that moves my body, stretches me and forces me to endure poses that are challenging.
I feel accomplished at the end. Believe me, I am not bendy and I do yoga in a pretty rudimentary fashion. So I feel proud and good having moved my body in ways that make my limbs stretch, my muscles flex.
My brain has disengaged from the chatter about my "issues" and focused instead on breathing, my heart, my focus for my practice.
One does not have to do yoga in order to reap these benefits. A walk outside works the same results, or a bike ride or meditation. The point is to move your body, to take your focus off of what is scooting around in your head, the "monkey mind", and feel that sense of peace that comes from just simply breathing.
Let me know what works for you to find peace. Peace. Be. Still.
Is this malaise? Lethargy? It certainly feels joy-less. I am doing what I can to center myself and see if I can change my mood. I will share with you what I have done, in case you ever find yourself in a similar position.
Yoga. Yup. Pretty basic but I cannot tell you how much better I feel after doing an hour. For one thing it gets me focused on something else, something outside my head, something that moves my body, stretches me and forces me to endure poses that are challenging.
I feel accomplished at the end. Believe me, I am not bendy and I do yoga in a pretty rudimentary fashion. So I feel proud and good having moved my body in ways that make my limbs stretch, my muscles flex.
My brain has disengaged from the chatter about my "issues" and focused instead on breathing, my heart, my focus for my practice.
One does not have to do yoga in order to reap these benefits. A walk outside works the same results, or a bike ride or meditation. The point is to move your body, to take your focus off of what is scooting around in your head, the "monkey mind", and feel that sense of peace that comes from just simply breathing.
Let me know what works for you to find peace. Peace. Be. Still.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Developing Focus and Structure
Do you suffer as I do from that feeling of wasting a day or a specific block of time? I find myself with a free day ahead of me and my planning mind immediately decides all the things I'm going to do. Unfortunately, my basic nature of wanting to do everything means I can potentially spend the day flitting from this thing to that thing and never feel I accomplished much of anything. This activity is much like my other activity of being online and bouncing from one website to another reading interesting information, but wasting gobs of time. Today I am on a path of being Mindful, and I'm saying that with a capital letter!
I am sharing with you here my steps I followed to remain focused on my goals>
1. Decide you are going to spend a day or an afternoon mindfully selecting your activities. I made this decision this morning when I realized how many "free" days (meaning no appointments) I squander on the Internet and essentially being distracted. I decided I needed to really listen within, and not react to every 'bright shiny object'.
2. Sit someplace quiet, close your eyes and placing your hand on your heart ask -- what do I really really want to do next? I actually did this after making my list of things I wanted and needed to do today. I mindfully asked myself this question and listened to what came up. I had "clean off desk top" "do yoga" "be creative and write in your blog". I felt I was at choice and in charge of my day rather than at it's mercy.
3. Once you have written the items down, decide how long you will do each one. I used a timer because it really helps me stay focused to hear that tick, tick tick! Giving myself 15 minutes to clean off my desk meant I was decisive and deliberate and not likely to get side-tracked checking email. Instead of an endless amount of time, I had a deadline. I guess I work well with a deadline!
4. Be good to yourself and allow for spontaneity. In my initial listing of items, I included "fun" and "free time". After I had finished a few tasks, a friend called to invite me to go see a movie. Well there was fun and free time all in one! Of course I went and had a great time.
5. Congratulate yourself on what you did accomplish. I checked off and crossed off each item which made me feel accomplished. At the end of the day of course there were more items, but they will carry over or they just were'nt that important. I know I was being truthful to my needs and I felt good about my day.
What I realized today is how easily I can be distracted! And I'm starting to appreciate how much of this behavior is my avoidance of things I feel afraid to do. Now I don't mean some huge scary fear, but that deep-seated fear that I'm not really good enough; I'm not worthy of the good that could come to me by doing these things. What if I had to really burst through my barriers and just get out there and SHINE!! How would that be? A little scary? Yes, I think sometimes it is to me. So I don't get started when I really want to, or I water the plants, have a snack, email a friend. OK things to do, but I'm allowing myself distraction rather than the joy that comes from completion by way of focus and awareness.
I am sharing with you here my steps I followed to remain focused on my goals>
1. Decide you are going to spend a day or an afternoon mindfully selecting your activities. I made this decision this morning when I realized how many "free" days (meaning no appointments) I squander on the Internet and essentially being distracted. I decided I needed to really listen within, and not react to every 'bright shiny object'.
2. Sit someplace quiet, close your eyes and placing your hand on your heart ask -- what do I really really want to do next? I actually did this after making my list of things I wanted and needed to do today. I mindfully asked myself this question and listened to what came up. I had "clean off desk top" "do yoga" "be creative and write in your blog". I felt I was at choice and in charge of my day rather than at it's mercy.
3. Once you have written the items down, decide how long you will do each one. I used a timer because it really helps me stay focused to hear that tick, tick tick! Giving myself 15 minutes to clean off my desk meant I was decisive and deliberate and not likely to get side-tracked checking email. Instead of an endless amount of time, I had a deadline. I guess I work well with a deadline!
4. Be good to yourself and allow for spontaneity. In my initial listing of items, I included "fun" and "free time". After I had finished a few tasks, a friend called to invite me to go see a movie. Well there was fun and free time all in one! Of course I went and had a great time.
5. Congratulate yourself on what you did accomplish. I checked off and crossed off each item which made me feel accomplished. At the end of the day of course there were more items, but they will carry over or they just were'nt that important. I know I was being truthful to my needs and I felt good about my day.
What I realized today is how easily I can be distracted! And I'm starting to appreciate how much of this behavior is my avoidance of things I feel afraid to do. Now I don't mean some huge scary fear, but that deep-seated fear that I'm not really good enough; I'm not worthy of the good that could come to me by doing these things. What if I had to really burst through my barriers and just get out there and SHINE!! How would that be? A little scary? Yes, I think sometimes it is to me. So I don't get started when I really want to, or I water the plants, have a snack, email a friend. OK things to do, but I'm allowing myself distraction rather than the joy that comes from completion by way of focus and awareness.
Overall, I felt on task. Then when life happened I was also able to go with the flow. Mmmm...my mantra right now, to be in the flow.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Balance and Mindfulness
I have been making an effort to be mindful in my life, waking up as Eckhart Tolle says to The Power of Now. Being present as much as possible to what is happening with me, right now, helps me be more in touch with how I feel, teaches me who I am, gives me tools for knowing what steps to take next, because I am paying attention to the details.
I was discussing this with my sweetie this morning after listening to Tolle's newest book A New Earth. Is being mindful and present something one strives to do 24/7? If so, how does one manage all the pieces of life? If I am focused right now on this, then what happens to all the other pieces of my life? I believe that since we are multi-faceted Beings, then we are capable of being present to the totality of our lives, being present to what is in the broader perspective and so can manage them all on a rotating basis.
After this discussion I took my morning walk. I noticed things I hadn't noticed before, even though I've walked this path many many times. Some were things that were always there, a stone paved walk in someone's yard, the shape and form of a tree in another. Some were new and specific to this walk such as the wild turkeys who often show up on the golf course. At one point I glimpsed them in a backyard and said hello to them. On my way back they were walking the street in front of me, four of them gobbling along. They made me laugh. Was I totally mindful and present in every moment of my 50 minute walk? No, at times I was thinking of something I was going to do when I got home, at times I was noticing the sidewalk in front of me.
I believe as in many things, and as I have blogged about before, it is about balance. If I am mindful for the most part in things I do, say and think, I will be able to be the mindful observer of my life, ever seeing and feeling where to make adjustments, ever aware of my feelings, and ever alive and tuned in to what is happening in my life. Contrarily, going about my tasks on auto pilot, full of things to be done with no awareness of what is happening around me or in me, I have lost my sense of self.
Here are some thoughts for becoming more aware and mindful in your daily life.
1. Find a practice to do every day that gets you into a mindful state. You can take a walk and focus on being mindful of your thoughts, mindful of what you see, mindful of what you hear, or doing yoga or some other practice.
2. Practice doing an ordinary activity you do every day in a mindful way, such as eating. Ask yourself what you are wanting to eat and fix yourself that meal with love. Get creative with it and don't stop until you hit "yummy"! This morning I mixed chopped apples with granola, cinnamon and brown sugar and warmed it up. Focus on eating each bite with mindfulness of what you taste, what you feel. I tasted the warm, sweet cinnamony apples, with some crunch from the granola. I felt warmed, nourished and realized how much I like eating different tastes and textures together.
3. Be mindful and present when communicating with people, whether on the phone or in person. It's so easy to get distracted and it's normal. If you notice that you are, pull yourself back to the conversation. It's interesting to notice how much more I get from conversations when I'm focusing in that manner and I think my loved ones feel more heard.
4. Use this tool when you feel overwhelmed: take a moment to sit quietly, breathe gently and be present. I have started making a list in the morning of my To Do items. Just writing it down takes it out of the buzzy place in my brain and puts it in the do-able place on my list. Then I challenge myself to accomplish 3. (Don't put down something like clean out the garage, but do-able- in -the- day tasks). I reward myself after doing them by taking time out to talk with my sweetie, read or some other fun! (very important!) activity.
5. Remember there is no right way or wrong way to do this (or anything else as far as I'm concerned!) Practicing an awareness of the concept is a great place to start and none of us will ever be perfect at it. It's a journey, and it's supposed to be fun.
I was discussing this with my sweetie this morning after listening to Tolle's newest book A New Earth. Is being mindful and present something one strives to do 24/7? If so, how does one manage all the pieces of life? If I am focused right now on this, then what happens to all the other pieces of my life? I believe that since we are multi-faceted Beings, then we are capable of being present to the totality of our lives, being present to what is in the broader perspective and so can manage them all on a rotating basis.
After this discussion I took my morning walk. I noticed things I hadn't noticed before, even though I've walked this path many many times. Some were things that were always there, a stone paved walk in someone's yard, the shape and form of a tree in another. Some were new and specific to this walk such as the wild turkeys who often show up on the golf course. At one point I glimpsed them in a backyard and said hello to them. On my way back they were walking the street in front of me, four of them gobbling along. They made me laugh. Was I totally mindful and present in every moment of my 50 minute walk? No, at times I was thinking of something I was going to do when I got home, at times I was noticing the sidewalk in front of me.
I believe as in many things, and as I have blogged about before, it is about balance. If I am mindful for the most part in things I do, say and think, I will be able to be the mindful observer of my life, ever seeing and feeling where to make adjustments, ever aware of my feelings, and ever alive and tuned in to what is happening in my life. Contrarily, going about my tasks on auto pilot, full of things to be done with no awareness of what is happening around me or in me, I have lost my sense of self.
Here are some thoughts for becoming more aware and mindful in your daily life.
1. Find a practice to do every day that gets you into a mindful state. You can take a walk and focus on being mindful of your thoughts, mindful of what you see, mindful of what you hear, or doing yoga or some other practice.
2. Practice doing an ordinary activity you do every day in a mindful way, such as eating. Ask yourself what you are wanting to eat and fix yourself that meal with love. Get creative with it and don't stop until you hit "yummy"! This morning I mixed chopped apples with granola, cinnamon and brown sugar and warmed it up. Focus on eating each bite with mindfulness of what you taste, what you feel. I tasted the warm, sweet cinnamony apples, with some crunch from the granola. I felt warmed, nourished and realized how much I like eating different tastes and textures together.
3. Be mindful and present when communicating with people, whether on the phone or in person. It's so easy to get distracted and it's normal. If you notice that you are, pull yourself back to the conversation. It's interesting to notice how much more I get from conversations when I'm focusing in that manner and I think my loved ones feel more heard.
4. Use this tool when you feel overwhelmed: take a moment to sit quietly, breathe gently and be present. I have started making a list in the morning of my To Do items. Just writing it down takes it out of the buzzy place in my brain and puts it in the do-able place on my list. Then I challenge myself to accomplish 3. (Don't put down something like clean out the garage, but do-able- in -the- day tasks). I reward myself after doing them by taking time out to talk with my sweetie, read or some other fun! (very important!) activity.
5. Remember there is no right way or wrong way to do this (or anything else as far as I'm concerned!) Practicing an awareness of the concept is a great place to start and none of us will ever be perfect at it. It's a journey, and it's supposed to be fun.
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