Creativity Time

This I know about myself -- I need creativity time every day. I need sensory pleasure every day. I need fun time every day. I need outside time everyday. Sounds like a lot of needs huh? But, each of these needs can be quite simple to fulfill. It really only takes a little taste of these things for me to feel happy and get my need tank topped off.

Today, for example, I made muffins. I know, so small. I love to look at cookbooks and recipes and blogs about food. I love different foods, different tastes and focusing on organic, wholesome but oh so tasty food. So last night I found a very interesting sounding recipe for Lucia muffins. They have saffron and golden raisins and almonds and sounded just interesting and different enough to ignite my creative spark. I went shopping following dinner with my BFF -- off to Trader Joe's we went in search of semi-exotic ingredients my kitchen did not possess, such as saffron and buttermilk. I felt excited thinking of my morning with my honey and making homemade muffins. You have to understand that generally breakfast 7 days a week for me is oatmeal with a variety of fruit and yogurt. Honey makes himself his own granola with oatmeal or peanut butter toast. So this felt like a special and fun Saturday morning 'Occasion'! Why shouldn't Saturday morning, or any morning feel like an Occasion?

They were glorious - golden/orange from the saffron, not too sweet, almost like cornbread in texture, the golden raisins giving them a hint of sweet deliciousness. What a small simple pleasure. We added fresh squeezed orange juice from our tree, sliced bananas and strawberries and the meal was a culinary experience for a king and queen.

Creative energy in the kitchen - great start to my Saturday. Now off to fulfill my need for the great outdoors. What do you need?

Letting Go Again -- Good bye Precious Jewel

It was almost exactly one year ago that we said good bye to my dear orange cat Willy. Now we are readying ourselves to say good bye to PJ (Precious Jewel or Puddle Jumper), our mini dauchund. PJ is 16 years old, well 16 and 1/2 Jay informed me. She has lived a very long and happy life. Jay got her as a cute little puppy, oh so adorable from the pictures I've seen.

PJ came into my life 5 years ago, when I began my relationship with her owner, and I was smitten right away (by both of them). I loved how excited she would be to see me, and how much she loved to sit in my lap. Jay would joke about how I was now her best friend and how my lap was the perfect lap. It did seem every time I'd sit down, there she was immediately. Her needs were simple -- her people around her, or being allowed to go with us wherever we might go. Being very small, it was easy to take her with -- to relatives, the store, a drive. She loved to ride, and you guessed it, she rode on my lap.

I discovered she was quite fond of catching whatever morsels might fall while I made dinner or prepared my salad for lunch. She'd come running from wherever she was as soon as she'd hear the chopping, then sit absolutely still, eyes glued to my knife, waiting. A bit of lettuce would fall, no thanks, but drop a piece of carrot, and she was on that in a heartbeat. I took to giving the pretense of peeling the carrots, in the vicinity of the garbage, but allowing the pieces to fall to the ground around the can, where PJ would happily gobble every bit. I discovered she liked more and more of the vegetables I ate and the fruit as well, so morning fruit chopping became another favorite time of day for her, apples and bananas her favorite.

We have taken trips with her, ridden our bikes with her in the basket, given her baths, clipped her diggers, and watched while she practically inhaled pieces of chocolate (yes, she was fed that on a regular basis and she loved it). She woke us up excitedly in the morning, hopping and jumping so happy to see us. She has always been a complete love, giving her love to us so very generously and we have truly enjoyed her companionship.

For my sweetie, this is an especially poignant time. He always knew this would be hard. They have been companions for 16 years. She was the child he never had. I believe he learned a lot about nurturing and care from having her in his life. Together we bless these memories, bless her for being so sweet and count ourselves lucky for having known her and shared some time with her.

She is not well. Walking is near to impossible. Tomorrow will probably be her last day. So as we look back over our memories and muster our courage to say goodbye, I'd like to reflect on my relationship with her in these four questions:

1. What memory am I leaving behind that I will not miss? How she could get stinky when she needed a bath!

2. What memory am I leaving behind that I will miss? Her sitting oh so contented in my lap, admiration and adoration written all over her face. May I provide that for those I love.

3. What PJ characteristic do I want to take with me? Her unstoppable joy. She was joyous at the drop of a hat, and held no grudge.

4. What characteristic of hers do I want to cultivate in my life? Sensory pleasure - the feel of fabrics, rain, grass, carpet, the smell of bar-b-que, chocolate, chipmunks to chase, the taste of my hand, licking my ice cream bowl, M&Ms, the sound of us coming home which made her jump and bark for joy. These little, small but so very rich pleasures of life, made her a happy pup. May I so appreciate all these pleasures in my daily life as well.

Thank you P. We love you so much. As we told you every day, "you are such a good dog".

Lately I've been thinking and reading a lot about the art of writing. I love to write. I have a degree in English so I guess I've always fancied myself as somewhat of a writer, though I rarely gave myself the actual title of Writer. Unlike many folks, I haven't had a lifelong dream to write and publish a book and I don't currently write poetry or stories. Yet, I enjoy expressing myself through words and what I'm truly enjoying right now is exploring both being a better writer and spending more time in creative pursuit of writing via journaling.

When I have trouble sorting through problems or mind-numbing life equations, a nagging inner voice begins prompting me to "go write!". Yet I resist and so often many other activities end up taking priority. I do know that when I take the time to be with myself and just write, whatever flows from my heart to the page, I have felt much more clear and more focused. It is the resistance to allocating this time, that I now question. Why do I resist? What do I fear? Are there answers I'm avoiding hearing?

With this new year, I have a new desire (no, it's not a "Should") to journal more frequently and creatively. I'm also giving myself a few minutes every morning to doodle using a prompt. My inner artist is calling very loudly to me and I'm listening.

I'm heeding the call and asking what about you? Would you like to join me? Do you have a repetitive yearning to begin or to maintain a journal practice? Do you resist journaling, yet have a sneaking suspicion that it might actually be good for you? Would you like some form of structure in order to explore how journaling might change your life?

I'm planning a journaling group to begin at the beginning of February. Our group would meet, either in person or by telephone on a weekly basis. I would supply journaling prompts and coaching around your journaling practice, and I'll facilitate group coaching as your ideas and feelings float to the surface.

* What would you like to see happen in 2010?
* What are your personal goals and aspirations?

Triggering your right brain is a great way to allow your creative mind to set the wheels in motion. Contact me if this is speaking to you. Together we can unveil and release the treasure that has been lying dormant, ready to be discovered.

I'm Turning 55

Well it's officially here. I have gone from 54 to 55 which feels more monumental than just moving up one number. 55 sounds like a real "senior" number. 55 can get me a discount at some places. 55 means I have outlived my father already by 18 years.

What have all these years brought me? What have I learned? Where do I go from here? Somehow it feels significant, as if the years left are dwindling. I know I can and will live on for many more; I guess the question is the life in my years.

So to answer my own questions, I'd like to take a look at where I've been and the gratitude I have for my life right here, right now.

I have had the amazing opportunity to meet many people through my career as a coach -- both fellow coaches and coachees. I have such great connection with other coaches all over the US and my clients have also stretched from coast to coast. It is always such a pleasure and priviledge for me to make these new contacts, to learn more about myself, the world and how I can contribute. These people have all contributed to my life and I pray I have contributed to theirs.

I have a fantastic family - and a pretty large one at that. I am so grateful for my son, daughter, son-in-law and baby grandson. I have 2 sweet sisters and 2 brothers. Between them all I have 8 neices and 4 nephews, and a great neice and nephew! Of course there is my mom, and many aunts uncles and cousins too. My boyfriend and his famiy -- sister, neice, nephew, mother and partner, create even more fabulous bonds. I am celebrating my birthday with many of these people and I acknowledge and send love to the ones I can't see.

I feel so lucky to have many friends from all walks of life --many of whom come from my long law career.

So what the years have taught me, is the strength of bonds like these. I am also grateful that I have the basics of life - a place to live, food to eat, etc. But what has really sustained me and grown me through my life are the bonds with the people in my life and the lessons I have learned not only from the happy relationships, but the ones that ended by my choice or not. I have learned continuously from them all about who I am and how to be a better person in life.

Where do I go from here? As it was from my beginnings, the sky is the limit. I am only limited by my own imagination. I will be the best ME I can be, fully enjoying each moment with those around me and savoring the moments I might be alone, just me and my thoughts. I still like to think of myself as middle aged. Heck I could live to 110!! Anything is possible.

My mission from here - to nurture and nourish myself and those around me as best I can. Here's to the next 55!!

Turning 55, Who's Body is This?

So here's a shock. I'm standing in the closet the other day, trying to figure out what I'm wearing (a frequent past time for me). I'm wearing nothing but my underwear and as I glance down at myself and notice my legs, what occurs to me is "who's body is this?" When did my legs get to be this mottled, dimpled looking sort of texture? Heavens I have old lady legs! And of course this is only the beginning. My body has many more tricks up it's sleeve, speaking of which, I can now make a loud flapping noise using my left arm as a musical instrument, this mysterious flap of extra skin jiggling most attractively. Lovely.

I've already allowed my hair to go gray and I really don't mind that, in fact I rather like it. What I do mind is the abundance of hair I'm starting to see on my face, not to mention the fact that I can't see my face without the magnifying mirror. Ah yes, my body is aging right before my eyes (if I can look closely). It's amazing and rather life changing. I look at myself somewhat differently. I'm an older woman now. My gosh I felt like I was still in my 40s if not younger!

I'm still very healthy and robust, I walk, lift weights and do yoga several times a week. I eat very well, so my body feels good (with the exception of my arthritic hands which we are not focusing on). All in all, my body is great, with this "aging" process happening.

Here in my second half of life, I wish to embrace this body, to deepen the relationship I have with myself through learning to read my body, noticing how my emotions impact my physical health and to just be conscious and mindful of what my body is telling me. I will also be careful to not judge or criticize when I notice changes but feel grateful of what these changes symbolize.

My legs look old - I am grateful that these legs have carried me so very far, through the completion of 3 marathons, through numerous miles of hiking and walking and pacing with babies. They have done squats and yoga and climbed walls and pumped a swing. Thank you legs.

My arms are getting flabby - I am grateful for these arms that have lifted babies, carried my dying Irish setter to the car, lifted groceries, pulled weeds, stirred soup, folded clothes, typed papers, washed cars, hugged countless loving men, women and children. They have waved hello and good bye and danced in the arms of a man. Thank you arms.

My face is changing, sprouting hairs - I am grateful for this face that I have grown to love because it is uniquely mine. The face that had freckles and a turned up nose, the face that got sunburned at the mention of sunshine, the face that has faced a sunrise with glee and a sunset with awe, a face that has kissed boo boos, been cried upon with joy and with sadness. I am grateful for this face.

My eyes have trouble seeing - I am grateful for these green eyes of mine. Whether I can see well to read or not, whether I can see well to drive or not, I can indeed see the glorious colors of Life around me, I see the faces and eyes of not only people I meet, but people I love, I see the magic of my grandbaby's arrival and the dying breath of my kitty. I have seen foreign lands and fantastical sites here in the US. My eyes have seen and read many emotions in the eyes of others. I am grateful for these eyes.

This is my body, slightly different look, same wonderful functions.

Next up, "what was I going to do next?"

Turning 55, What I've Learned So Far

Wow, I guess that was a big bite to take. I think it would fill way more than one blog to talk about what I've learned on this journey called life. But here is my capsule version:

1. Don't take yourself too seriously. Seriously, life is short. We aren't perfect beings, we are learning as we go. Do the best you can and forgive what wasn't what you might have liked.

2. Do what it takes to be happy and the rest will fall into place. The older I get, the more I discover that doing what makes me happy, and avoiding that which doesn't, makes everything work so much better.

3. Pay attention to what is inside your hoola hoop, and leave every thing outside it to others.

4. Love yourself - I mean truly, madly, deeply. Love the bulges, the bumps, the imperfections, the bad hair days, the mistakes, the moods. It is all part of who we are.

5. The past is the past. Heal what you need to, forgive who you need to, apologize to who you need to, and move on. The power is in the present. Ram Das was right - Be Here Now.

Those are my key points. New post - who's body is this??

Turning 55

I'm turning 55 this summer. I'm not embarrassed to admit that. Age has not meant much to me since I turned the big 5-0. However, I am slowly recognizing the landmark 55 represents. I'm a coach devoted to coaching mid-life women and this blog is devoted to tips and tools and musings by a 'mid-life' woman. Will I still be at midlife when I'm 55? Or will I officially become a Senior?

Between now and my August birthday, I'm going to be posting blogs relevant to my thoughts, processes, worries and joys around age and turning 55 in paraticular. If you relate in any way, please feel free to post your comments.

First off, my thoughts on the age itself and what it means. As I said, my last significant birthday was turning 50. I enjoyed that. It felt like a huge landmark. I was more secure in myself and more comfortable in my own skin than I had been my entire life. I celebrated with a party at my house. I felt fully alive, grateful and loved. Since then, it's just numbers. Until now...

What does 55 mean? It means I have already outlived my father by almost 20 years. It means I do qualify for a senior discount in many places. The number sounds like someone approaching or well into retirement. The number sounds like someone who is a grandmother (yes). It means I am even more whole and happy and content with myself than 5 years ago.

What do these numbers mean to you? Have you hit a significant age or are you about to?

Next blog, what I've learned thus far on this journey.