Self Care Friday

I have posted about Self Care Friday before, and with good reason. Self care is a passion of mine, something I believe lies at the foundation of so many of our stresses. I know from whence I speak let me tell you. I've gotten myself into less than stellar moods and when I took the time to look at my situation, there was always an element of forgetting to take care of me. I have tried to keep Fridays sacred for self care time for quite some time. This doesn't mean I don't work, I still do my coaching but I try to keep some flexibility in my day to allow for the guidance of my inner self.

This past Friday, I had a truly outstanding call with a client followed by an inspiring call with a coach buddy of mine. I then spent some time writing some material and then headed out for some errands. The fun thing about this and the pampering aspect, was I didn't feel compelled to finish and hurry back to work. At one point my objective was to buy some nice bread for dinner. Bread for me is not necessarily the staff of life. I can take or leave a slice of regular bread. But really nice, aromatic freshly baked bread, oh my goodness, that makes for a nice meal. I went to the Nugget, a more upscale grocery store here, and had the best time just browsing. I got a lovely garlicky bread, then wandered, admiring the ice cream flavors, reviewing the magazine section, smelling and trying on the lotions in the natural foods section. It was a sensual experience and it made me feel I was being good to me -- reward for a week of working hard. The bread was a perfect accompaniment to the roasted vegetables I made, sweet potatoes, onion, red potatoes, broccoli and turnips, along with tender tilapia. Later in the evening I enjoyed a cup of fragrant tea.

These little gestures are really all it takes: an ability to listen to your inner voice and what it is seeking, and a space of allowing yourself that time, GUILT FREE.

Please let me know what your favorite self-care rituals might be. If you find it a struggle to take that time, let me know that too. I'd love to support you in your journey to becoming your best and happiest self.

Be Your Own Best Valentine

"You lie upon my heart as on a nest, folded in peace" —Amy Lowell

I've been thinking about being good to myself, loving myself, being my own best valentine. What would that look like? I know the times when I have been the most uncomfortable, felt unhappy, discontent, I was not truly being good to me. Do you notice that? I get myself in a "bad" mood, and believe me I recognize it is my choice, and then it snowballs. I don't feel like fixing myself good food, but rather making poor food choices or overeating. I hang out alone feeling sorry for myself and pathetic. Is this sounding familiar at all?

Next day I wake up ready to start anew and I think - today will be different, I will be good to me. It really is about that, being good to me. In that moment when I am feeling less than, feeling blah, that is when I need to let my nurturing side take over and take care of me. That is when I can take a little extra effort to do something nice for me which doesn't mean having chips and bean dip for dinner, but being gentle and kind, asking myself what would make me feel just a little bit better right now.

This month with Valentine's day coming up, I'm focusing on being good to me. I'd like to invite you to be good to you as well. Do what feels good. Do what you love. Is there something you have been putting off that you'd like to get handled so you can live a happy life? I'd like to invite you to experience the power of coaching. I'm looking for a few good coachees right now -- folks really ready to take the plunge and be coached, ready to take control of their lives and have more joy, more happiness, more of all that they love. I'd love to support you in that journey. By supporting you I support being good to me. Start by loving you and watch the love and happiness flow.

Midway Upon the Journey...

of our life I found myself within a forest dark, for the straightforward pathway had been lost. ~ The Divine Comedy

That is the first line of that infamous book by Dante. I'm starting out with that line today because it speaks so loudly to me of this point of life - midlife - which I prefer to call the second half of life. Somehow that sounds more promising and exciting -- like what could be ahead in this part of the journey?

Haven't you been there in that dark forest when the pathway had been lost? I have. I think what makes it the most challenging when I've found myself in that place, is feeling alone in the forest. It's scary and it's lonely and when I've lost the path I can start to get lost in the woods and if that wandering in the wilderness keeps up very long, I can feel like giving up, going down an easier path or maybe going backwards the way I came. This ever happen to you?

Getting into that mindset of feeling lost and alone impacts us of course because it becomes that negative downward spiral. I've experienced this both in my personal life and in my business life -- and I have to say what helps me get back onto MY PATH is finding some support along the way. It can be a book or class that will help me look outside my own box, or a friend or colleague experiencing something similar who can boost me up. I've also had many coaches in the last several years who have supported me, listened to me, acknowledged that what I am feeling is true and valid and partnered with me to find ways to locate the path and walk even more surely on my journey. Coaches such as myself are available and most will schedule a "check it out" session at no cost to allow you to see what's possible.

Lost in the forest? Looking for the path? Give yourself some time to locate support, because none of us really want to journey through the nine circles of hell!

Getting Back in the Flow in Times of Challenge

I have a mantra I like to remember when times feel hard for me - and it's to remember to let go and flow, flow like the river. I visualize this at the same time, me in my little boat on the water, and instead of being stuck on the rocks, or trying so hard and struggling to paddle paddle paddle ever harder up stream, I release, let go and allow myself to flow. It's funny because I can literally feel it in my body when I let go and say oh yeah, I'm working too hard, flow. The trick is to remember to do that and not get stuck in the struggling part.

As a business owner, it has been challenging not to get stuck in the "money manic" that has been generated since last fall. I don't want that to be my reality. I want my reality to be that life flows gently and easily for me, money flows gently and easily for me, my health flows gently and easily, ...But I can get caught up in the fear that is out there and worry, which is what I noticed I was doing, which made me work harder and harder and get more stressed and worried and question myself and just not feel good. So today I will be in reminder mode for myself - let go and flow whenever I feel the tightening and clenching start to take over my body.

If you would like to learn more about yourself, and how to let go in turbulent times, consider signing up for my FREE telecall to be held January 19th. I'll be talking about using creativity to tap into a better understanding of ourselves as well as a way to release blocks you may have which are limiting you. Contact me for all the details. coach_cindie@myself.com and may you be in the flow.

Coping with Post Christmas Blues?

Are you feeling it? Did you wake up as I did, thinking of all the things that make me feel sad or guilty? Why does Christmas happen this way so unrelentlessly every year? Despite my best intentions to have no expectations, I end up feeling some kind of remorse or sadness.

Today I felt a little guilty over my Christmas spending and my Christmas consuming of all goodies available to me yesterday. I had the intention to spend less this year but allowed myself to go over a bit. My overspending my budget for my son then resulted in me wondering if I'd spent enough on my daughter. And round and round I go. Top this off with the chaos of having my sister, her husband and their 6 kids for dinner last night, plus my niece and her two kids and my pregnant daughter with emotions running high over everything. Add to that the fact that my son traveled from southern California to be home for Christmas, something I've been anticipating, and in two days time he'll be leaving again. A recipe for sadness for me.

Is it because of the enormous build up that is difficult to avoid no matter what? Is it the culmination of all the Christmases of my past that leaves me wanting every year to make this one "perfect"? Oh gosh I gave that word up long ago. I'm a recovering perfectionist and yet I think underlying my feelings somewhere deep is that desire to create the cozy experience for all of those around me, which only leaves me feeling sad when it's over, because it can never be all of that.

It is a day after all, and an opportunity to share love with those I care about. My inner wisdom led me to take a walk this morning to sort things through. I said my gratitudes out loud while walking and realized how much any sadness I was feeling was a part of the past -- it's over, gone and I am missing this current moment in allowing these negative feelings to run me today. I have my son here today. My daughter has a healthy baby on the way. I have a large, loud crazy family with lots of loud kids, but we had fun yesterday. I may have spent more than I planned, but I know I will be OK, and all will be provided to me.

Really, when it comes down to it, the Beatles were so right -- all we need is love and I do have that abundantly.

May your post Christmas day be filled with gratitude of what you have, and what you look forward to in the new year. May you find peace in this present moment, right here right now.

Letting Go of 2008

A thought just occured to me. I find myself recognizing often the things I need to let go of. Letting go is an ongoing process and when I get stuck it's because I'm not letting go of something. This afternoon I was frustrated with computer and technical stuff around my blog and website. I worked and worked at the technical issues of getting my blog site to look exactly how I want it to look. I became more frustrated and tired and realized I needed to let go and let it be. It was not worth it.

There is always something I can let go of. Right now I have some piles of paper in my office. The piles represent stuff I'm not letting go of, stuff that needs to move into a neater home. Maybe you are not letting go of an idea or belief about yourself or another person. All this got me thinking of the continuous process of letting go and that I'd like to offer the opportunity for anyone who wants to let go of something(s) as we leave 2008 to do so in a supportive environment.

I am proposing a Winter Solstice Letting Go Virtual Retreat. I will provide some ideas, journal prompts, a guided visualization and group coaching to support you in letting go and allow you the space to do so. Come prepared to really let go of some stuff that is no longer serving you.

Letting Go Group Coaching Call Sunday December 21, 2008 8:00 pm-9:00 pm PST. Post your interest or email me to get the call-in info. $20.00

Finding Meaning in Christmas

"All grown-ups were once children. (But few of them remember it.)"
— Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Have you allowed yourself to be a kid, or even remember what it feels like? Why do children love Christmas so much? It's the magic, the wonder, the surprises, the happy relatives who show up, not just the gifts.

I was just remembering what my children loved about Christmas. Yes, they got excited about what they wanted and what they hoped Santa would bring. But they also were excited about the family who would all gather at our home, the mashed potatoes and gravy, the way my son would play guitar with his uncles and my daughter would get to reconnect with all her cousins.

I watched an old home video on Thanksgiving of my daughter at age "6 and 3/4" on Christmas. I'm videotaping her and asking her questions. When I asked if she had anything else she wanted to say, she said "yes, I'm really wondering how Santa comes down our chimney, and how he gets all the gifts to all the kids on Christmas eve. He must be pretty special." It was such a treat for me to watch her, hear her voice and see that wonderment on her face. That is the childlike quality I'm talking about -- having that curiosity about life, marveling at it and accepting the gift that it is in all it's glory.

I'd like to invite you to look at life this month through the eyes of your inner child. Allow yourself to experience the joys of this season through the lens of that childlike wonder and acceptance of all the good and joy that is there for you. I believe we have much to learn from listening to that child that still dwells within us and he or she needs to come out and play from time to time.

What is your inner child wanting or needing right now? What small act would feel good? Building a snowman? Baking cookies? Creating something by drawing or writing just for fun? No "shoulds" here, only what feels good. Try it, and let me know what comes up for you.